Hope Everyone had Great Mothers Day Weekend!

Mothers Day was alittle bitter sweet for me. I was a time of realizing my family has grown and moved on to their own lives. It started to wear on me and I used alot of the time to reflex. I learned alot of things threw this all and mostly it involved letting go and embrassing the future Daddy and I will have together someday.

My struggles since my Daddy missing

I never knew what a long distance D/s relationship could feel like and if i had to pick this is not something I would wish on anyone. Its the hardest of relationships only communicating from a distance. Sure webcams ,yahoo, blogger, texting, skype and everything else we have incoorperated helps.BUT..........................
I still long for the sting of your hand striking my ass, the feel of your skin pounding my wet needy cunt, to be tied to the bed with you teasing stroking me gazing into my eyes!

One part of me worries that the distance will tear us apart the other part tells me I have nothing to worry about.
Daddy you have brought be so far. You told me youd never leave me and I know you had no choice because of your job. I have to right to feel abandunded but I do. I have tried to stop feeling this but it returns.
It's only been two weeks and seems like a life time since we have been together! How often will we get to meet? I know you don't have the answer for this yet as it depends on how often work sends you back here. Just that need to know grows more all the time.
I guess it all comes down to im afraid to be alone. You promise me your'e still here and that will help but it is going to take time. I hate feeling insecure and that is how it feels.
I need to know this will work out. I need to know Im not alone. I need to not feel so needy.
I know this letter will disappoint you but I want you to know how I'm feeling. I'm sure daddy will be giving me extra order's in the morning to help deal with all this.
The day you asked me to wear your collar I was the happiest lil girl in the world I will never have any regrets for excepting it! It brings me great comfort now to be able to reach up and grab it when I'm feeling insecure. I love you daddy

Goodmorning Orders of the day

Goodmorning All and Especially Daddy!
The internet is becoming such a constant part of our everyday life now I love being able to connect with you this way. Im alittle leary about sharing as much as you have ordered me to share in public but It is what we need to be open as much as possible and blogger seems so perfect to log in and document my assignments and share with you my progress.
To all the read in furture this is very exciting to share my submission to my Daddy here. Im having a great time reading others too. So much good blogs out there! Id be happy to follow yours if you can leave a comment here.

Orders from Daddy today.... 1. Post my feelings & fears-daddy knows i have been struggling
since his move two weeks ago.
2. Maintain 4 sessions with 20 minutes of on edge orgasm control
Post about one of the sessions.
3.Be ready for Daddys phone call at 6pm with cam up and ready
Post about our cam session before going to bed tonight

Its Been Awhile!

I have been away from Blogging for while but I feel I need to have a way to express myself and connect with other submissives in this lifestyle. I still have a tremendous relationship with my Daddy. My Daddy now lives 3 states away from me and so we dont get the twice a month physical contact visits we once did. I know some time in the future we will be living together but for now we are strictly long distance. Its a joy to be back and looking forward to connecting with anyone that is in the lifestyle or curious about it.

How do other manage online bdsm relationship???

Even though Master and I see each other 2 weekends a month it still seems very difficult to deal with the nilla parts of life. Master tells me even when apart we still are 24/7 Master slave relationship. I do feel this Master ...i feel your spirit guiding me, your hand on my shoulder as im cooking dinner, I hear you speaking to my soul. But seriously I long for the constant physical contact of the weekends we have together.
How do other slaves deal with the absnce of their Masters physical presence? Master says hes going to give me a good spanking that will last me till the two weeks when i can be with him again! Oooooooo ouch I can feel it already! I want the restriction of being bound and helpless as he strikes my ass over and over!
He takes care of me from afar. Guiding everything i am and everything i do. But to feel his warm skin on my tits, to feel his body restraining mine, to be in his sight presenting to him taking my place in front of him is what we both crave. Feel it building inside of us till the 14 days have past and we can both get what we need. To be only his for the weekend , the collar snapped around my neck where its ment to be, Masters hand grabbing the collar pulling me to my feet to catch his eyes gazing into mine! Thats where it is!!!!!!!!!!!

Weekend with Master

It is Wednesday how will i ever make it to the weekend! It seems like such a long wait to be in my Masters arms. Last night we had a wonderful session on the phone! His words take over my mind , body and spirit! I feel whole when im with Daddy, im Daddys lil slut. Daddy has given me assignments to do before the weekend to come. Weeks ago he ordered me a new toy, a medium sized plug he wants his slave to be able to take him without to much prblem. Given the fact I have never had the opportunity of being taken like that from behind im alittle nervous about it. I do love pain but its the thought of the unknown.....is it pain like my Master hand on my ass , is it like the pain of Master forcing three fingers into me? Master says its pain unlike any ive felt before. Hmm im nervous and excited all that the same time, i can't wait!

In the beginning- Making of Masters Slave

I knew this is what i was meant to be and Master knew this was was what i was meant to be-- his slave totally submissive to him and no one else. I didn't make a conscious decision to become his slave it just happened.

Over time and learning what it meant i fell deeper into his trust, his soul wrapped around mine and at that moment i surrendered my whole being to him.

For a new slave this can be a very emotional experience , almost like the soul leaving the body very spiritual. He held my head in his hands and my whole body fell limp into his arms wrapped around me. That night it wasn't about sex, romance, intimacy it was totally an emotional high unlike anything Ive ever experienced. Only Masters hands stroking his slaves hair and his words rolling from his lips speaking the truth of what this girl had become at that very moment.....
Masters slave..........Daddys lil girl.......never to be without his love and guidance!

Crawling out from under the Rock

My discovering of my slave desires i describe as coming out from under a rock! Well more like a bolder rather than a rock. I had stuffed those feelings so far down that it felt like Master was pulling them out inch by inch!
When one hides their desires and what they are for so long it can be pretty painful to open up. Reasons you hide your feelings is a painful process. Master helped me threw ,babysteps, feel safe to open all those feelings and know he would help me threw it.

Finding the Real Me

For years i had stumbled threw life knowing i was living a lie. Hiding who i really was. Being the ......perfect mother..... perfect wife.... perfect worker never really being what i truely was born to be. I will be the first one to admit it was down right painful.
After so many years of hiding and feeling emotionally drained from the denial i was found by my soul mate, my Master, my lover. I am now a collared slave, though still hiding from the family i live with there is still the sense of total release and freedom to finally know what was missing in my life!
about a year ago i innocently started up a conversation with a gentalman that seeked me out in a chat room. I remember thinking at the time "this guy seems different, this guy would be a good friend, this guy seems to know me and my inner feelings". We became close friends and the conversations became very involved and he lead me to a place in my life i finally knew who i was and what i was ment to be.
He made me see all the feelings i had stuffed deep inside where not wrong and i wasnt a bad person for having such desires and needs.
Today i am his collared slave and he is my Daddy DomMaster. I maybe restricted by the family i live with but i really do have the best of both worlds.